This is something that has come up recently for me. I've been thinking alot about fantasy and the safety that can be found in it. Now I'm not talking about real life games involving sexuality and fantasy play but rather mediums that allow one to express themselves without exposing who they are really. One easy medium to think of is a journal or blog such as this one, with how I have this one set up; I'm taking advantage of the obscurity offered. It gives a chance to express oneself more freely and without fear of being critsized personally. People might critisize a story or say how they don't agree with my opinion but I don't have to worry about my real world self being effected by such critsizm.
I have also noticed and found that people seem to be more vocal about their sexuality when they don't have to be worried that others will look at them strangely for it. But using a source that allows obscurity people let themselves be more free, confess things that normally they would not, and dare to consider things they normally wouldn't. Telling your inner most desires, thoughts, and dares to a bunch of complete strangers can be easier then telling those same things to a loved one or a dear friend; especially if there is pressure that those that mean the most to you might judge you for such things. So people hide and express that which they normally would be afraid to.
In some ways I think finding a release in fantasy can be healthy. It may help people realize things about themselves they might not have known before or things they refused to admit before. Imaging things that normally you wouldn't helps you realize what you may really want in life. In other ways the fantasy aspect is also very limiting, because I feel those that are truly free and happy with their lives are those that have found others that are interested in their fantasy wants and desires and are willing to partake in them.
In the end how far someone takes their fantasy lives is really up to them. Do they keep it strictly fantasy always wondering if they could feel more fulfilled if they actually shared it out of obscurity or do they take the plunge and risk of doing what they desire. The risk has with it the possibilty that those they share with won't be receptive and also perhaps the even greater and more damaging risk that once they do find the niche that it will be disappointing once taken out of the fantasy context.
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I know what you mean. I used to be in a sort of situation with my boyfriend like that. I have my fantasies, but even when he asked me what they were, I was always afraid to really tell him. I was afraid that I'd be judged for them. I knew he wouldn't be into most of them, or I wasn't entirely sure. It really wasn't something we ever truely discussed. It took it's toll on us, that we kept this sort of thing from each other. Eventualy, we talked about it openly with each other. It was a hard thing to start, we were both scared. But then I realized something. I love him and I trust him more than anyone else. Some fantasies are best left fantasies. But when we didn't ever tell each other those things, it put a real strain on our relationship. What's worse is that I didn't know it at the time. I could see in subtle ways that something was bothering him but I didn't know what. We took a leap of faith, we trusted each other. It was one of the hardest and most frightening things we'd ever done, but I'm glad we did it and we're closer for it. It helped us in ways that don't even relate to intimacy. It just filled some sort of gap. We eventualy got married and we still discuss our fantasies. He has some that I'm not into. He has some fantasies that would involve things like swinging. I won't judge him for that, and that he can trust me enough to tell me it's a fantasy of his means the world to me. He knows it'll never happen, but it feels good to know that he can tell me those things.
Take my advise, honey. If this is leaking into your personal life in any way, take that plunge. Trust in him or her. It'll do wonders for your relationship, even in ways that have nothing to do with sex. It doesn't matter how bizzarre it is, how kinky it is, whether or not he or she'd be into even concidering it. It doesn't matter. If you can't trust them, then who can you trust? It adds something undefineable to the relationship to be able to be open about these things.
And by the way, I love the story. Keep up the good work!
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